Sunday, September 7, 2008
I saw this show last night, called the Locator. Here is the premise:
Troy Dunn is a true phenomenon: From finding birth parents to organ donors, his brilliant investigative skills are a marvel to all who see him in action. His impressive track record for locating people means that he and his staff are routinely inundated with dozens of new cases to solve on a weekly basis.
But for one week each month, Troy devotes all of his staff and resources to one important case that they call the Angel Case. This Angel Case usually comes to Troy because there is an urgent need to find someone and because she has exhausted all other possible avenues. The Angel Case meeting begins with Troy’s staff presenting him with three to four potential cases and after a brief discussion, Troy decides which challenge he wants to take on. On his way out of the meeting, Troy assigns specific tasks to his staff members to streamline the search process.
Join Troy and his team on these emotional journeys, where everything from creative tactics to sheer luck provide breakthroughs in his quest to reunite loved ones and reconnect lives.
I was stunned at the intense emotions the show brought up in me. It hit a raw nerve. I am in the process of finding a needle in a hay stack. My children's birth parents. This show not only comfirmed that what I am doing is right, but also a gift to my kids. If I only find a trail, before everything banishes, I would be succesful. My kids, should they decide they want contact, at least have a head start. I cannot look them in the eyes years from now and say, "Honey I will help you find them if you like, but I didn't start anything because I thought the decision to try to find your parents was up to you." No, they are children. They do not have an idea of what this will mean in years to come. I cannot be passive and assume no responsibility. Of course, it would certainly be the easiest thing to do. I can rationalize it with, "It is China, it is impossible," or "It would hurt your parents to try to locate them, they might not want anything to do with you," or "You cannot do that, it might get them in trouble." I have run the various scripts through my head, and they do not justify doing nothing.
Amazing how one of the things that attracted me to the China program, is the very thing that haunts me now. It thought it would be a dream not to deal with birth parents. Not to share my child's affection or my child, period. Now as I look at them, I think of their parents every day. The very act of giving birth, of carrying life in one's body and then not knowing the fate of that life, has to scar you. I also see my kid's faces and imagine them older, asking and hurting because there are no answers. I am prepared that there may never be any answers, that it will all lead to a dead end. What I am not prepared to do, ever, is to sit idle. I am their mother, as well as that first stranger to me is, she made the ultimate sacrifice as a mother. I can at least attempt, what is in comparison, this small task.
I am open to suggestions if anyone has an idea? The link to the Locator: http://www.wetv.com/the-locator/